Tomorrow I go into the hospital for hip replacement surgery. I’ve had to be on a special diet and do special exercises on a daily basis the last two weeks before surgery. We’ve had to drive an hour and a half four different times to do various blood tests, Joint Replacement class, x-rays, pre-surgery scheduling, meetings with the PA to our surgeon, six weeks of Physical Therapy before the surgery was ever scheduled and a dozen other things that seem to clutter up my brain at the moment. The surgery date itself has now been changed for the third time to 12:00 noon. Since my hip has been in pain for several weeks, at times excruciating, I can hardly wait. After surgery there will be lots of Physical Therapy at the hospital before they send me home with a multitude of instructions; don’t do this, be sure to do that, some of it contradictory. Then I’ll have another six weeks of more Physical Therapy. A few days after I get home I need to schedule flight and hotel arrangements for a vacation we are taking in September. I tried it today and it wouldn’t go through. I called the airlines to explain the problem. They said I needed to speak with my credit card company. I called my credit card company and they said I needed to speak to the airlines. In the midst of all this, the web site timed out on my computer and all the hard work I’d done in filling out page after page of information was gone. But the biggest stress I have is that we have a son in Afghanistan who has horror stories that cause his mother to pray a rosary every day in hopes none of them will happen to him.
So…….do you think I have any reason to be stressed out? Adult children of child sexual abuse seem to have a harder time with stress than most people do. We’re hyper-vigilant by nature, insomniacs, worriers, and positive thinking comes hard when it comes. But I have not felt much stress at all. That’s because I went through a recovery program I later called REPAIR. I was broken and I needed repairing badly. I’ve learned so much these past few years and I’d like to share some of them with you in case you are looking for ways to handle stress.
1. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the only thing that’s the end of the world is the end of the world.
2. Watch for HALT. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. If any of these are present in your life, take care of it immediately and your tension will begin to lessen.
3. I’m big on lists. Keep’ to do’ lists of everything that might stress you out. What were you planning on doing on Saturday? That alone is a pain. List all the things you’d like to do, then list all the things you need to do.
4. Be sure to keep your wants and needs separate. If you are shopping at Wal-Mart and your credit card is almost maxed out and part of your stress comes from not being wise about your spending, be sure before you throw anything in that cart, is this a “want” or a “need”?
5. Keep a budget. If you’ve never had one, let me tell you how I’ve been doing mine for years. I have an adding machine that has a tape on it. I type in any income in black, and then I type in all of the expenses in red. If some of them are unknown items that change from day to day; set them aside. Then make what I call a Savings Notation List. There I list the average cost of each expense that I don’t know the actual amount of, per month, add them all up and use that as one of the expenses you need to list in your budget. Let me give you an example: If your earnings net total $2000 per month and your expenses are as follows: groceries, $300, rent $800, insurance $100, car gas $100, utilities $200, medical insurance $150, entertainment $100, savings notations $100, savings $150. If at the end of the month, you find there is money left over put it in a Piggy Bank and save it for one of those days when you want to go wild and crazy and buy new clothes or new books. There! I know each of us have expenses that differ and obviously earnings that differ. My point is that if you stay on top of what you spend and put some away for a rainy day it will alleviate much of your stress. Financial matters are usually the major stress in most people’s lives.
6. Pray. I turn my problems over to God on a daily basis. I have great faith in Him. I count my blessings every day and as a result seem to keep getting more. I talk to God a lot, especially if I have a serious problem that’s bothering me. If you don’t believe in God talk to a Higher Power.
7. Spend time with friends, close friends, not just acquaintances you have at work. If you have no close friends how about fostering a friendship with someone you know who you would like to be your friend.
8. Spend quality time alone doing something you like to do EVERY DAY. Read, mediate, take a nap, take a walk, play with your pet, go to the movies, take a hike.
9. Do some form of exercise every day. It’ll help you sleep better at night, another rule that keeps you fit, a good night’s sleep.
10. Eat healthy.
If you need repairing please get a copy of my book REPAIR Your Life. If you need help with day-to-day choices get s copy of my book It’s Your Choice! Decisions That Will Change Your Life. Get to work! Life is short!
