Over The Rainbow

One of the best known phrases to illustrate optimism is Over The Rainbow from the movie The Wizard of Oz. When we are down, filled with despair, darkness all around, it is difficult to think of something that optimistic. We want only to make it through the next few minutes, the next few hours and if we’re fortunate, the next few days. After that we’ll deal with whatever comes after that. Whether the despair is an inability to leave a domestic violence relationship, whether it is having to deal with the daily reminders of the residual pain from child abuse, whether it is the death of a loved one or even the death of a most beloved pet it is all the same, deep, knife sharp pain that seems to center in your middle, right where your heart is.

I’m going through the last one. At least once a day I find myself sitting on the bench in front of our Golden Retriever, Guinevere’s grave where a beautiful and simple cross that my husband Tom made for her sits in solemn watch, her Harley Davidson collar and dog tags dangling from it. She dropped her body on the 11th of March, a quick, painless death from heart cancer; one day she was alive and happy and despite her almost 11 years, full of puppiness, and a few short hours later she gave Tom a sad and confused look, then lay her head down for the last time.

Our pain seems never to leave. Every facet of our day is a reminder. In despair I knew I had to find a way to deal with the grief. And so I thought of Over The Rainbow.  I had begged Guinevere before she died to give us a signal letting us know she was safe and on the other side. After she died we had frantically searched for her favorite toy, a little bear with a back pack on it, and so I told her that if she would help me find it I would know that was a sign that she was on the other side – over the rainbow – and that she was waiting patiently for us. Not long afterwards a voice inside of me said to look under the bed. Both Tom and I had looked there a dozen times and were never able to find it. This time I looked once more, reaching my arm as far as I could. I saw a shadow. It was her little bear.  I knew from this message Guinevere had sent me after she died that she was waiting patiently for us. I pictured other dogs running over to her and saying, “Let’s go play, we’re in heaven now,” and Guinevere smiling at them and saying, “No thank you. I’m waiting for my mommy and my daddy.” I had found my Over The Rainbow.

All of us need something to hold on to. No one escapes tragedy; no one goes through life without a painful incident. That is part of life. And so, we need to find our own Over The Rainbow. Make no mistake. There is one. If you are hurting from the pain of child sexual abuse, no matter how deep the pain, think of the joy that lies waiting on the other side of the pain; think of Repairing the damage by getting into recovery. If you have lost one you love you need only think of Over The Rainbow and believe in the promise of God that there is life after death. You are not a body with a soul; you are a soul with a body. Someday, you will drop your body and you will feel light and carefree as you head for the other side. You will look back and see those you’ve left behind and know that once they drop their bodies you will be together again. Cry if you need to. Tears are nature’s way of healing. Do not be ashamed of them; be grateful you have them. We have all been given life. No matter how many sorrows accompany it, we are not alone. God is with us and He will help us find our place Over The Rainbow.

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