It’s Your World! Take Control

How many of us feel that problems we have are out of our control; they have nothing to do with us and choices we make? How wrong we would be with this philosophy. No matter what our backgrounds, no matter how large our problems may seem to us, no one is without the ability to steer their life in a different, even a positive direction. The biggest percentage of our problems had something to do with a decision we made, that may or may not have been wise. I wrote a poem once with the words: But victims get what they request, when they entice their fate. Most of us feel that whatever difficulties we are currently faced with were caused by another and made us a victim of someone else’s bad attitude towards us. Let’s look at a few examples.

We lose our job. Why didn’t Fred or Joe lose theirs instead? Why was our boss such a jerk that he wanted to take his inability to do a good job out on us? After all, someone has to pay. This may not be the case. We may have fallen short of being a good employee. Not only that. What if losing this job is nothing more than a stepping stone to find another that we like better that pays more. Sometimes wisdom comes to us through misfortune. Here is a list of the career moves of a famous American politician; most of them failures:

• 1831 – Lost his job
• 1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
• 1833 – Failed in business
• 1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
• 1835 – Sweetheart died
• 1836 – Had nervous breakdown
• 1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
• 1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
• 1846 – Elected to Congress (success)
• 1848 – Lost re-nomination
• 1849 – Rejected for land officer position
• 1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
• 1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
• 1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
• 1860 – Elected President (success)

In spite of all these setbacks, Abraham Lincoln today is at the top of almost all lists of the greatest American president. In addition, two of his four children predeceased him. His grief over both was almost unbearable. But he persevered in the goals he felt were his path in life.

Having a setback, no matter how enormous, gives us an opportunity to make a choice on what road we take from there. Adversity builds character. Someone who had everything handed to them learns nothing; they certainly didn’t build strong character from these experiences. We have more control over our lives than we think. It’s our world. Think ahead. Don’t become despondent when something happens to bring unhappiness in your life. If you need a period of grief because you lost someone you love, take it. Then get back on your horse. What are you going to learn from this? Which direction are you going to take that will bring ultimate success out of what you thought was a failure.

Sometimes sorrow is handed to us without our having anything to do with it. We lose someone we love or someone we love becomes disabled. I have a son-in-law who became a quadriplegic as a young man as the result of a car crash through no fault of his own. Today, he has a career that is a full time job, drives his own specially equipped van, has a son of his own (conceived by in-vitro fertilization) who is almost grown. He lives an active life, is an avid sports fan, loves going to the movies, is a favorite at all family events and is the best listener you will ever meet. He could have gone in a different direction. He could have stayed in bed all the time feeling sorry for himself. But he made healthy choices and today, despite being confined to a wheelchair has a rich full life.

Charles Krauthammer, is an American Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist, is a best-selling author, political commentator, and physician. His weekly column is syndicated to more than 400 newspapers worldwide. He is a contributing editor to the Weekly Standard and a nightly panelist on Fox News’ Special Report with Bret Baier. He was a weekly panelist on the PBS news program Inside Washington from 1990 until it ceased production in December 2013. During Krauthammer’s first year of medical school, he was paralyzed in a freak diving-board accident and was hospitalized for 14 months. He has been confined to a wheelchair ever since the accident. He continued his medical studies at Harvard, however, and graduated with his class, earning his M.D. in 1975. From 1975 to 1978, Krauthammer was a resident and then a chief resident in psychiatry at the Massachusetts General Hospital. In 1984, he became board certified in psychiatry by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. During his time as chief resident, he discovered a variant of manic depressive disease which he called “Secondary Mania”. He also co-authored the path-finding study on the epidemiology of mania. His list of awards is endless. What enormous contributions this man has made to mankind. He is one of my heroes.

These are two examples of men who, despite accidents beyond their control, could have considered their lives over. What about you? Are you angry about having been sexually abused as a child? Are you angry because your wife left you for your best friend? Are you resentful because you and your wife can’t have children? Whatever is happening in your life that has brought you to a place of sorrow, do you want to sit on your pity pot? Or do you want to turn your life around by making healthy choices. If your sorrow is because of child abuse, get a copy of Repair Your Life and get in to recovery. If your wife left you for someone else, either you weren’t a very good husband or you don’t want someone like that for your wife anyway. If you and your wife can’t have children, have you heard of adoption?

There is an answer for every problem. There is a solution for every adversity. This is your life! Take control of it. Think positive; be all that you can be; take the reins in your hands and turn your life around. You can do it. There is no reason to waste your life with nothing but self pity.

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