Friend Webster, (my favorite author) says the word “victim” means one subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment. On the other hand the word “survivor” means to continue to function or prosper despite hardships or challenges.” Personally, I like the idea of being a survivor better than being a victim. I worked hard to get where I am and I don’t intend to lose the ground I’ve gained. It’s been a struggle; at times I didn’t think I’d make it. But today my life is healthy in all of the six dimensions: emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, socially and financially. Does that mean I don’t’ have any challenges. Heck no. That’s what life’s all about. But I have the tools to make healthy choices and have a positive attitude about any difficulties that come my way.
Too often I find people (sometimes it’s me) who dive right into negativity whenever anything comes up that is less than pleasant. There’s plenty of clever sayings to head you in a different direction: The only thing that’s the end of the world is the end of the world, Tough times don’t last but tough people do, Something will turn up, I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet, and so on. We need to remind ourselves that attitude is everything. We always have a choice and that choice defines our mettle.
I have many friends who post on my Facebook page; some of them are living through troubled times. The old saying about “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,” makes good common sense. If you have a choice and think the worst, The sky is falling in”, as Chicken Little said in the children’s book may make us a drama queen (or king) but do we really want that? A humorous verse comes to mind:
Twixt the optimist and pessimist,
The difference is droll,
The optimist sees the doughnut,
But the pessimist sees the hole.
Personally, I’d rather see the doughnut. Prayer, positive thoughts and sayings, being in a healthy environment, having had a good night’s sleep, accomplishment, meditation, being with people who love you, all create a being who has a better chance of surviving in this sometimes troubled world.
So how do we make sure that we are thinking with our survivor hat on and not our victim hat? If your day starts turning sour and you find that one problem turns into another and another, which happens to all of us, how do you keep it from getting that way in the beginning. Sometimes we react instead of responding. This is going to slide us right into a victim mode. We call a friend to see if they can get together with you this weekend and your friend is in a bad mood and rudely cuts you off. Instead of responding and saying, “You must be having a tough day, can I do anything to help? Maybe we can talk later when you’re feeling better,” You react and say, “What the devil is wrong with you? You’re acting like an asshole.” Whoops! This is not going to make things better.
And speaking of friends. Hanging out with people who are winners, who have a positive attitude and face challenges with courage is much better than having people who are losers in your circle. Sometimes the smallest event can seem catastrophic; but to others a major event is a challenge. I’m using the word challenge, a stimulating task or problem, (define your terms) a lot for a reason. Power words make a huge difference in your life. Substituting “can do” for “can’t” is a small but energizing verbiage. Sometimes having the discipline to keep your eye on what your goal is can make a huge difference. For example: You’re in college working towards a Masters Degree in history. The classes are numerous, the homework is awesome but you have this dream. Some day you want to be a Historian, to teach college classes on this, to write books about the Civil War, to research important historical events. Your friends call and want you to join them when they go out for the night to party. There’s a major test tomorrow and you know studying tonight means the difference between a good grade and a bad grade in your class. Do you want to be a victim whining tomorrow about getting a bad grade when it”isn’t your fault”? Or do you want to take “the road less traveled” and be disciplined about what you really want. That’s the attitude of a survivor.
Stop whining! Start confronting life with all of its troubles. Remember, What you fear, you empower.” And most important, Destructive emotion is one of the primary causes of disease. Get going! I’ll meet you at the finish line.
